Milner Street’s Heel Bruised by Guti

Milner Street went down fighting this week, in a gallant 4-3 loss to Heel of Guti.

Confronted with a talented Guti team, Milner Street sought inspiration from Jose Mourinho, the manager who made Lampard a categorically better midfielder than Gerrard. With the bus firmly parked by Gould and Beech, doughty defending held the scores at 0-0 until half time. Particular praise has to be given to the forward line. Great defending starts at the front, and Grew, JJ and JB worked themselves into the ground to deny space and supply to Guti’s skilful bearded striker.

But where there is praise there is often also censure. George Neville’s sartorial flair seemingly presented an irresistible temptation to fate, as the man wearing the England cricket top got the chance to show off his catching prowess in goal. One gentle shot. One catch fluffed. One ball dropped limply into Milner Street’s net. One- nil Guti.

Fortunately, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. Neville shook off his howler, redeeming himself well in the defensive line as Milner Street strove to catch Guti on the break. However, a couple more strikes from the beardy lad eased Guti into a seemingly comfortable 3-0 lead.

As the pressure mounted, the usual suspects reverted to type. Gould and Grew dragged Milner Street back in to the match, the former slaloming through vicious fouling to score a beauty, the latter finishing an incisive pass with his usual precision. JB occupied himself by getting into arguments with an innocent Guti player, and throwing the ball at his head. VAR reviews categorically disproved Bryson’s claims of a trailing elbow.

At 3-2, and with time running out, Milner Street won a corner. As Guti’s keeper stepped out to marshal his defence, Milner Street’s biggest Liverpool fan went full Trent Alexander-Arnold. Spotting the goalie’s poor positioning, JJ curled the ball into the box to take advantage of the momentary lapse of concentration. As the ball went in off the back post, Milner Street’s fans fan sub went wild. The unlikeliest of comebacks seemed on.

Alas it was not to be. Guti scored one at the death to edge a win, leaving Milner Street still needing one point for promotion, and four points to guarantee their fourth trophy this season.

With two games to go, it is worth considering Genesis. Guti may have bruised our heel, but on the form, the men in white will almost certainly crush their heads. Come on the lads.